I've heard beginning writers use a lot of very good reasons why it should be okay to write stories where adults solve the story problem.

• It's real life. What's wrong with writing a story that's real?
• I want to show kids that it's okay to ask for help when you need it.
• I want to show warm loving relationships between kids and parents/grandparents/teachers, etc.

All of those reasons are really good, and they still aren't good enough reasons to get editors to buy adult driven stories for kids. But why?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH WRITING WHAT REALLY HAPPENS?

Having an adult solve the child's problem in a story feels right. After all, many children's writers are parents and most children's writers are adults. It's likely the writer has solved a few problems for kids in real life - so why not "write what you know?" Isn't that what we're told over and over?

The problem lies in the value of a story. Stories do reflect the world, but they also offer value. Value doesn't necessarily equate with lesson, but a story that lingers in the mind of the reader has value beyond simple entertainment. It may raise questions to think about. Or it may introduce you to an idea you had no considered.

Kids don't need to be told that they are basically powerless creatures. They know that. They don't like it, but they know it. That's why you so often hear, "I can do it!" (Even when they can't.) They're powerless, they don't like it, and they really wish they could do it on their own. And when they try in real life, they often fail. When they try to carry the heavy grocery bag, they drop it. When they try to pour from the full milk jug, they spill it.

One of the values of story is that it shows them that sometimes you try and you can do it. And even if you try and fail, it's possible to go at the problem from a different angle and succeed. Kids don't need lessons in their own powerlessness - they get that lesson from life. They want to be told that sometimes they can do it. Sometimes they can figure it out. Something they can succeed.

The simple fact remains that stories are not real life. They aren't. They use elements of real life to create something that is more than real life, something that is truer than the things we might experience in our day to day life. In real life, we don't get much chance to be a hero - but in story, we see everyday people be heroes. In real life, we give up, but in stories, we see people who refuse to give up and eventually overcome. Stories are bigger than real life so "it's like real life" doesn't really mean it should be in story.

WHY CAN'T I ENCOURAGE KIDS TO ASK FOR HELP?

Okay, first, most kids ask for help - in fact, anyone called "Mom" knows that kids ask for help all the time. Kids ask for help when they don't need help at all. Kids yell, "Mom, where are my sneakers?" when their sneakers are in the same spot they're in every morning. The number of kids who totally won't ask for help in any situation on the planet are really pretty small, and those few kids who are scared to ask for help…well, a story might not be enough to encourage them because they've been through something tough.

Often what "I want to encourage kids to ask for help" means is "I want to encourage kids to ask for help instead of pouring milk all over the floor when they try to lift the heavy milk jug." Sorry, a story won't help with that. The deep need to try to lift the heavy milk jug is a search for power and stories won't make that go away. That urge to do what big people do in a simple situation like pouring the milk or carrying the groceries or even mowing the lawn has nothing to do with asking for help and everything to do with wishing they were big enough and strong enough to do what looks easy. Adults make pouring milk, carrying groceries, and mowing the lawn look easy - so kids want to do it. Stories won't change that.

And you won't find stories where the four year old can magically lift the heavy milk jug either - but you might find a story where the four year old figures out how to find her left sneaker instead of bellowing, "MOM!"

WHAT'S WRONG WITH SHOWING KIDS LOVING HELPFUL ADULTS?

If kids have loving helpful adults in their lives, they know it. Kids are not stupid. Take your basic nine year old - oh, let's take mine, for instance. My daughter knows that if she wants someone to help her do something that she is well capable of, the soft touch is Mom, not Dad. So she will always, always ask Mom. She figured that out at about two. Dad will make you try it yourself and Mom will just do it to save time - ask Mom.

Now, suppose the child doesn't have a soft touch who will always stop to solve the problem? Does putting one in a story make that child feel better? Does reading that some kids have really nice parents/grandparents/teachers who will figure out all your problems help the child who doesn't have really nice parents/grandparents/teachers? Not really. Remember the reader is the child, not the adult so putting a nice grandparent in won't guilt the grumpy gran into being nicer.

Basically, the urge to write warm loving adults is a nostalgia urge more than a children's writing urge. We love our kids or grandkids so we want to write stories about how much we love them. Sometimes a piece like that can work as a picture book actually (not often because editors get hundreds of these manuscripts, but sometimes a really well written one with a unique situation will catch the editor's eye), but virtually never in a magazine. And not in a novel either. That's because the nostalgia loving Mom or Gran buys the picture book, but the kid is likely to be the consumer of novels and magazine stories.

That doesn't mean all the adults have to be cold or unfeeling - they are welcome to be concerned and loving. They just cannot hog the show or solve the problem. In my family's case, my husband could be in a story since he's prone to saying, "I think you can figure that out if you try," but I could not be in the story since I'm far to prone to just fix the problem. Both of us are warm and loving but only one of us is the "fixer."

BOTTOM LINE

You don't have to evict all adults from stories, nor do you have to make the ones in stories into heartless creeps, but if you tend to let the adult characters take over, if you tend to let the adult viewpoint creep in, if in your heart you know you think kids are adorable - you would be well served to evict the adults for a while. Learn to write kid characters from a totally kid-centric perspective by not letting any adults in…and then, when you're ready, you can throw open the story door knowing your adults won't take over. They'll be seen, warmly supporting, but not heard, hogging the show.