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Gail Martini-Peterson is a retired veteran of the classroom who taught English, reading and social studies for 32 years. She now writes for children and other writers.

"Telling is Easy; Showing is Hard"

by Gail Martini-Peterson

The advantages of telling are: 1. You have fewer words to write, 2. you don't have to fuss with emotion in the scene, 3. fewer strong verbs are needed, and 4. it's a whole lot easier to write. Showing is harder because you have to reach down deep to discover details that imply to the reader emotions you want them to discover.

You decide

Jared always did dumb stuff, stuff that drew blood and he never seemed to learn. He was impatient. If the pop bottle wouldn't open with a twist, he'd use his teeth ending him up at the dentist. If the neighbor's dog refused to come out of its doghouse, he wouldn't lure it with a scrap of meat from the refrigerator. No, he'd try to pull it out, and he'd get bitten. Jared knew the emergency room better than most ten year olds. (81-words)
OR
Jared teetered on the ladder. He knew he shouldn't be up there, too dangerous, but he hoped the ladder was positioned in just the right spot. He climbed almost to the top and hung on to the roof for support. He could see the baseball a foot from his hand. The grass below was soft because of rain the night before, so the steps leaned one way and then the other. He felt afraid he would fall, and then the ladder lurched one way and he the other. When he found his footing, he noticed his pinky finger ran red with blood. It looked like another emergency room trip for him. (111-words)
OR
"Why does this always happen to me," Jared muttered. He glanced toward the edge of the shed roof as he adjusted a ladder closest to where he remembered the baseball had landed. There'd been rain the night before, so the earth was soft, but if he hurried before the ladder sunk any more, he could get his ball and be back in the game. A big, bumblebee buzzed by his ear. He waved it away. Up he went as the stepladder lurched a little right and then a little left, and he had to shift his weight to keep his balance.

When he neared the top, he clung to the rough roof edge for support and a few of the beads on the tar came off on his hand. He saw the baseball just a good reach away. Jared held on as he stretched until the scratchy roofing tile pushed its sharp edge into his belly. He had to stand on his toes, and just as he touched part of it, the ladder slumped left; he went right. He banged the roof edge hard before hitting the ground. He lay there to mentally examine his body for injury. Legs and arms felt okay. He was conscious. He staggered to his feet. That's when he noticed his pinky finger ran red with blood and there was a funny white part at the end of his finger. "Why me, he sobbed," as he headed home. (243-words)

Which shows?

Obviously, the third paragraph shows. The reader is actually involved along with Jared. That final look at the end of the finger makes the reader shudder. No need to mention an emergency room visit in his future. That would be called: explaining-what-you've-just-shown. The reader has already figured it out, so trust your reader.The first paragraph is very general about Jared being impatient with two examples. The second one adds more details, like the baseball being one foot away, and dwells on one incident but is still telling. The reader does not feel involved.One more thing becomes obvious about telling. Telling names the emotion:

He was impatient
He knew he shouldn't be up there
He was afraid he would fall

The difference is

The big difference between showing and telling is distance and senses. You are there in the showing, and you hear the big, bumble bee buzz by YOUR ear. You feel the roof edge press into YOUR belly. The reader feels the ladder shift under his weight, the bang of the roof edge, and then the ground, and remembers taking stock of injury before getting to his feet. And that sight of white bone or tendons at the end of the pinky finger horrifies the reader and the author. Involve the reader and make him react to the senses.

So telling is ALL BAD?

Telling is useful, too. Transitions are telling. If you described getting from one setting or scene to another, the reader would be buried in details and your book would be overly long. Sometimes you tell because telling is the right thing to do, but more often, you show. If you err, show more than you tell. You can always pull back. Are you writing a story in the first person? You will find yourself telling lots more than showing, but the character's voice makes the difference. Picture books do more telling than showing as the illustrator shows through the art.

Summary

Don't think you can add gobs of adjectives and call it showing. We don't want the color of the sofa, but the roar of the tiger BEHIND the sofa. That's what we want!

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