Instititute of Children's Literature

Rx for Writers

Transcripts

"How to Show and Not Tell!" with Linda Hall

Thursday, July 20, 2000

MODERATOR is Kristi Holl, web editor for this site and author of 23 books for children and teens, plus l00+ articles for adults and children. Kristi has also taught writing for children for fifteen years.

Linda is Linda Hall, author of eight novels and six nonfiction books, plus dozens of stories and articles. She has also been a contributing editor for two magazines: Focus on the Family Magazine and Christian Week.

Names color coded in blue are viewers with questions.

Interviews begin promptly at 9 Atlantic/Canada, 8 Eastern, 7 Central, 6 Mountain, and 5 Pacific.

MODERATOR: Welcome, everyone. Tonight we have with us Linda Hall to speak on the topic of "How to Show and Not Tell," a very critical skill for all writers to master. Linda is the author of eight novels including Sadie's Song (due out May, 2001), Katheryn's Secret, Island of Refuge, and Margaret's Peace, six nonfiction books in the Pine Candle Adult New Reader series, and dozens of stories and articles in magazines. She has also been a contributing editor to Focus on the Family Magazine and Christian Week. Welcome, Linda!

Linda: Hello I'm happy to be here!

MODERATOR: First, Linda, how did you get started writing?

Linda: I think I was born writing. I used to make up stories in my head when I was a little girl. I also worked on school newspapers. But seriously, I studied journalism and I've worked as a newspaper reporter and freelance writer. Around ten years ago I began my first novel.

MODERATOR: Do you juggle your writing with a day job of any kind, or raising children?

Linda: No, but it wasn't always this way. My children are grown now and writing is my full time job, although I do teach writing. So I guess I am juggling writing with teaching.

MODERATOR: When your children were young, what was a typical writing day like?

Linda: Ah - write for ten minutes, run and see what the kids were doing, write another ten minutes, drive someone someplace. You get the idea.

MODERATOR: I remember! What is your average writing day like now?

Linda: I'm usually at my computer by 8, check my email first, then work on my novel. Usually in the afternoon I am either at my computer doing "busy" work, or you can find me at a local coffee shop writing. Sometimes I need to get out. Plus, I like coffee. I often work evenings as well if a deadline is looming.

MODERATOR: Now to the topic of the evening. Editors and writing teachers consistently advise young writers to "show instead of tell." What exactly is meant by "show don't tell"?

Linda: Telling is narrative summary, first this happens and then that happens, then that other thing happens. Showing, on the other hand, is letting the readers "see" what happens through actions, dialogue and to a certain extent description.

MODERATOR: In SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS, the authors say that telling "is a second-hand report" and showing "is an immediate scene." Can you explain what they meant?

Linda: Okay, pretend you're at a party, and someone there is telling the group about that big fish that got away. That's narrative summary. That's storytelling. Showing would be watching that actual fishing expedition on a video with all the dialogue and action.

MODERATOR: Is this concept only for fiction, or can it apply to nonfiction as well?

Linda: It's very much a part of nonfiction. I've read some very excellent travel articles, which by way of sensory language and dialogue, really take the reader to the places they describe. The personal memoir is another example where showing, rather than telling is vital.

MODERATOR: What areas of our writing would benefit from showing instead of telling?

Linda: Emotions, actions, dialogue, description, even coming up with a setting. All of these would benefit by having the reader "shown" them, rather than merely "told" about them.

MODERATOR: This concept may need examples to help viewers understand what you mean. So first, what are some examples of "showing and not telling" with emotions (e.g. happy, sad, afraid)?

Linda: I have a couple of examples of this that I'll post now...

Telling: Steve felt bad; he was so upset.

Showing: Steve felt as if he'd walked face first into a wall. When the trembling hit him, he almost fell before catching himself.

In the first example, the writer has merely told the reader that Steve felt bad. In the second example we can actually visualize Steve--we can see him trembling, we can see him almost hitting that wall.

Telling: Agnes was depressed.

Showing: When Agnes got home from work she sat down in front of the television and ate a whole box of doughnuts. Then she threw the box into the trash and cried for an hour.

In the first example, again we are merely told that Agnes was depressed. But, skeptical readers that we are, we may not believe it unless we can actually see Agnes being depressed. That's what we mean by show and not tell.

MODERATOR: What are some examples of "showing and not telling" with action?

Linda: I will post an example of that.

Telling:

The girls played Barbies all afternoon in the sunshine by the meadow near the barn. Their mother called them for supper, and after washing their hands, they joined the others at the table, where their little brother Bobby was making rude noises and laughing. Mother told him not to talk like that in front of his sisters.

Showing:

"Maggie and Rebecca, you're going to be burned to a crisp out there. Supper's ready."

Rebecca shrugged and laid Western Barbie in its box and closed the lid on top of her.

"Do we have to?" Maggie asked.

"Come get washed up now!"

They rose, bits of straw still clinging to their jeans. They sprayed water at each other at the outdoor tap. When they got to the stable . . . [Well, space doesn't permit us to go on, but you get the idea.]

The first paragraph is a paragraph of narrative summary, but the second, the one with dialogue, we can see things happening. We can hear the girls talking. We are there, and it is the showing that has put us there.

MODERATOR: What are some examples of "showing and not telling" with dialogue (reported vs. shown)?

Linda: I have another example which we will post here.

Telling:

"I don't like the look of these woods," she said fearfully.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," he said trying to act macho.

"But, it's so dark," she said in a trembling voice.

"Oh, don't be a baby," he said scornfully.

Showing:

"I don't like the look of these woods." She put the ends of her fingers to her mouth.

"There's nothing to be afraid of. Nothing."

"But it's so dark." Her voice was barely audible.

"Oh, don't be such a baby."

This brings up one of my pet peeves in writing - dialogue tags with adverbs. It's telling the reader how a line of dialogue was spoken. She said cheerfully, he said scornfully, he uttered excitedly. I think a mere "said" is always the best choice. It's sort of like a comma when it's read, readers skim over it, but they stumble on the adverbs. Let the dialogue itself or the body language of the characters determine how a reader interprets that a thing is said.

MODERATOR: What are some examples of "showing and not telling" with setting?

Linda: I have another example of this too.

Telling: Then came the moment of complete shock when Herbert saw what the vandals had done to his car.

Showing: The hubcaps were gone, the windshield bashed in with what looked like a baseball bat, the front fender hung like a broken tooth, and both rear tires were flat. Herbert stood and stared.

In the first example the writer has hinted that vandals had done to his car, but in the second example we are shown exactly what. Also in the first example we are told that Herbert was in complete shock. But what exactly does that mean? But when the writer says that he just stood there and stared, we can picture him, and "picturing" is the key to showing and not telling.

MODERATOR: What are some examples of "showing and not telling" with description (pretty, short, ugly)?

Linda: I have another example.

Telling: "She was a beautiful blonde", Or "She was gorgeous."

Showing: She was of medium height, straight light hair to her waist, and had a body that could have graced the cover of Cosmopolitan.

Again, in the first example we are told that she is gorgeous, but your idea of gorgeous and my idea of gorgeous may be two different things. In the second example we are given more of a description. Now, we have a picture. And the reader is left to figure out for himself or herself whether that person is gorgeous or not.

MODERATOR: Great examples! Linda, is it more important in certain places in your story to show instead of tell?

Linda: I think the beginning is definitely the place to show and not tell. You should begin a story with action. Begin in the middle of the action and show the reader a picture of what is happening. Many of my students want to start their stories with long paragraphs of description so that we will right away get an idea of setting or who these people are. But, I would say, begin with action.

MODERATOR: Linda, how can writers learn to show and not tell?

Linda: There are a couple of quick and easy things. First, don't think of your story in terms of chapters, or paragraphs, or things that must happen before something else happens, or a long grocery list of things you want to include. Envision your story as a video playing in front of you as you write. Think of your story then in terms of scenes rather than plot points. The same goes for nonfiction. If you are writing a personal memoir, for example, live and imagine the things that happened to you again, in your head. Or if you're writing a travel article, remember what is was like to visit that place and maybe by using photographs or whatever, visualize, imagine that you are there again. Then write the story.

MODERATOR: Excellent advice! And we're getting some excellent questions in the moderator box, which we'll be getting to shortly. How much does showing have to do with using our five senses?

Linda: Very much! We experience life through our senses, and that's the way we should write.

MODERATOR: Can you go overboard with showing, even if it's done well with beautiful details?

Linda: Yes, although I hesitate to write this, because usually it's the other way around, but there will be times when you will want to include narrative summary. Even in videos and movies, which are the ultimate in 'showing" often have to reveal events and the details through narrative summary. The trick is knowing what details to show and which to tell.

MODERATOR: Can you give some examples of when "telling" might be a better choice for your story? What purpose does "narrative summary" serve in a story?

Linda: If you want to get some information across to the reader, such as an explanation. Another good example is when you are writing transitions. For example you could write that: "After the baby was born they moved to California." That's narrative summary, but showing all those details - having the baby being born, packing up and moving might not be as integral to the story as having them be in California.

MODERATOR: That makes sense! Another thing: I find that students who use "show" very effectively sometimes want to "tell" as well, to make sure the reader "gets it." How can you tell if you're doing "showing AND telling"?

Linda: This is a common problem, one that I, too, am guilty of. My editor sometimes writes "Let the Reader figure it out," all over my manuscripts. But we writers feel we have important things to say, and we want to make sure the readers "get it". We're afraid that the readers won't figure out that Herbert was shocked at the vandalism to his car by just having him stand there, so we write, He was shocked. What we need to do is give our readers credit for "getting it."

MODERATOR: If you realize your story has a lot of narrative summary, how can you convert this "telling" to "showing"? Can you give a step-by-step nuts-and-bolts procedure to follow once you've identified the places that need changing?

Linda: It's important to picture those story scenes in your head, as if you're watching them on television, a television in your head. Revision is when you go through your story and maybe highlight or mark those scenes that are important to actually see, and those that can be told through narrative summary.

MODERATOR: Is showing vs. telling only important in books and stories for older readers and adults? Can you show instead of tell for very young readers, or do you have to spell things out for them?

Linda: I think we don't give kids enough credit for "getting it". Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. I remember reading books to my own kids when they were younger, and the ones that showed things happening, rather than the ones that told through summary and "preaching," were the ones my kids enjoyed. But I remember some stories where the story was shown, and then it was "explained" to the child, as if the child was too stupid to figure it out. Adults and children will understand the things we are trying to show, and if they don't, that's okay, too.

Steve: What is a personal memoir, and why is showing vital there?

Linda: I can think of a few personal memoirs that I have recently read - Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott, and Angela's Ashes. Both were filled with visual images. It's important because writers of personal memoirs want to bring a certain time of history or a certain memory to life so that everyone can enjoy it, and feel what they feel. And this is done by showing, and not telling so much.

hc: When you tell, isn't this generalizing and showing is being specific?

Linda: Showing takes longer to write than telling. Writing "showing" paragraphs is harder work. And yes, I guess you could say that telling is generalizing, and showing is taking a small part of that generalization and making people feel what it's like to be there, making people see it.

MODERATOR: Here's an interesting one...and does it depend on the age of the reader?

mom of 3: Which senses are most important to use in 'showing'?

Linda: I think all are equally important, although most writers start out by writing with the sense of sight. We describe things visually, but it's equally important for writers to develop a vocabulary of words that describe sounds, that describe smells, that describe the way things feel.

MODERATOR: Are all senses important even for the smallest readers?

Linda: I think so, because I think children are even more attuned to their senses. As we grow older we're too busy to stop and smell the roses, but children often do.

MODERATOR: And how do we choose details for them that they'll understand? I've seen so many stories where the details were over their heads.

Linda: I would say remembering is an important part of writing - remembering what it was like to be a child. I think more important than watching them is to remember what it was like to be a child, to replay those scenes in our mind. The same principle is used for the personal memoir story.

DebO: How do you go about "showing" description of your viewpoint character without using the old "face in the mirror" trick?

Linda: Ah - the face in the mirror cliché - first of all, don't use that one. As for personal description, I don't write a lot of it. If you read a lot of contemporary novels or stories, a lot of the physical characteristics, such as eye color and hair color and height are left out - but when you're trying to describe a character - think - what is most important about that character? Focus on your character's goals and ambitions rather than his looks. Read contemporary short stories and novels - and even nonfiction pieces about people, and not the amount of physical description. There's probably a lot less than you think. Each reader will come up with his or her own physical characteristic for a character as he or she reads the story.

christine collier: The examples of showing and not telling are wonderful; why do new writers forget this so often even though we know better?

Linda: Even we old writers forget it. My own editor writes R.U.E. all over my manuscripts, which means - Resist the Urge to Explain. Sometimes I think I should post that in big letters over my computer!

Nighttime: How do you "show" in nonfiction yet have it remain nonfiction?

Linda: There is something that even has a name now--Creative Nonfiction--which means using the techniques of fiction to write our nonfiction. Because after all, how much in a personal memoir, or biography, is absolutely the truth anyway? It is all colored by the way each person views that event. Each person would view an event or person differently, so I would just write it, using all of the techniques of show and don't tell.

mom of 3: How simple do we need to make our language when writing for children too young to read for themselves?

Linda: I wrote lots of children's stories for Sunday School papers a long time ago and I sort of never worried too much about language level. But I never wrote for children who couldn't read yet, so I don't want to steer you wrong by giving wrong information here. But I think the best teaching aids are books themselves for kids: what is the language used?

DebO: Are there times when it IS better to 'tell' and not 'show'?

Linda: Yes, transitions are one place. In the example I gave before - which I'll just repeat briefly... "They had a baby and moved to California." Now you could show that in a couple of pages, you could write out all about having the baby using very sensory language, and you could show in great detail them packing for the move. But if that's not important to the story, and you just want to get them to California, you would use a summary "telling" sentence.

Johanna: If I miss what's being 'shown' more often than not, have I any business being a writer?

Linda: I firmly believe that writing is a craft that can be taught and can be learned. It takes practice, it takes reading other people's writings, it's having those "Aha" moments when you are reading a story and all of a sudden you say, "Now there's an example of showing - and over here - here's an example of narrative." It can be learned, it can be studied. Read widely. Write every day. Take courses.

VMK: I'm writing a biography right now, but because I'm using a lot of dialogue, my instructor is advising me to call it historical fiction. When does it (the showing) cross the line of pure biography and become historical fiction?

Linda: A VERY good question, and one that writers struggle with. It occupies a lot of space on writers listservs. And there have been a lot of novels lately that have been "historical fiction." In my opinion, I would just write the story, the best way you can, with as much showing and not telling, and don't worry about what "genre" it might fit into.

VMK: Will the publishers decide what genre they want to fit it under then?

Linda: Often they do, but you should have an idea of where you think your book fits in terms of the market.

Ducky: But showing greatly increases the word count. If you are writing a story in 800 words isn't that difficult?

Linda: What you have to do here is to limit your scenes then. Look at the picture of your story. Play it out as a video in your head. What scenes can end up on the cutting room floor? Which are most important and which can be left out?

Steve: Even if you visualize your story as a video, can you still outline it? Or will that make you tell instead of show?

Linda: You can outline it if you wish. But the way I do it is a trick I read - when I have my main character and an "idea" for a novel, I will write at the top of my paper or computer screen, "20 Things That Could Happen," and then I brainstorm until all 20 spaces are filled. With a short story, you may only want to write "5 Things That Could Happen." Or one or two. But the important thing is to still think of your story in terms of "things that will happen," of action, rather than "plot points."

Blue Phantom: Do you ever deliberately write yourself into a corner, then try to write yourself out of the problem? I find that can lead to interesting avenues that normally I wouldn't have explored. Comment?

Linda: Great, Blue Phantom - yes, never worry about painting your character into a corner. The more problems you can create for your character, the better your story will be. Something always presents itself in the end and you may be surprised at what happens.

sage: When focusing on showing, not telling, you mentioned that some description may still be necessary. How does one know when there is too much description?

Linda: When it takes away from the action; you know what it's like to "skim over the description" so you can get to the "good parts." The "good parts" are what you want to include.

MODERATOR: This comment is too funny not to share, and then another question...

christine collier: I always loved in Victoria Holt books when the heroine would describe herself as having deep large eyes, heart shaped face, smooth creamy skin, etc. all things of beauty and then say, "But I knew I was not pretty!"

Blue Phantom: Excuse my slurred speech. I just came from the dentist. Is dialogue one of the best ways to show, not tell?

Linda: Dialogue is a wonderful way to show instead of tell. Dialogue is one of the best ways, as long as you don't explain how the lines of dialogue are said, such as "he said gleefully," etc.

menucha: Can you ever do too much showing?

Linda: Probably. You have to carefully intersperse passages of showing and action with passages of narrative summary. Passages of telling give the reader a break from all the action.

Casey: How many times do you rewrite a novel before you're satisfied?

Linda: Many, many, many - I lose count. And then I'm usually still not satisfied!

Johanna: I just finished reading John Grisham's The Testament and he spent so many chapters 'showing' the man's journey up the river that I was tempted to put the book down.

Linda: I sort of agree with you! But each writer is different and one reader will love a certain book that another will hate. Overall, I liked The Testament, but I can see your point!

MODERATOR: I think we'll finish with a fun one...

writerabc: Would it be okay to say, "Sarah wanted to throw up?" Or is that too coarse?

Linda: Nope, I'd put that in! Sounds okay to me, but it also depends on the publication you are writing for!

MODERATOR: I'm sorry to have to stop now, but we're out of time. Thank you so much, Linda, for sharing your expertise with us about showing instead of telling. I know our writing will be stronger for it, and viewers will want to print out the transcript tomorrow for easy reference. Thank you for coming!

Linda: Thank you! It was fun, despite the technical difficulties I was having here at the end!

MODERATOR: I'm glad! Do come back here in two weeks, August 3 to hear Helen Chappell talk about "Writing Mysteries: everything you wanted to know and some things you didn't!" Columnist, award-winning (and recovering) reporter, and writer of books, Helen Chappell has covered Chesapeake Bay Eastern Shore for a variety of publications, including the Washington Post. Chappell is the creator of the critically acclaimed Sam and Hollis mysteries and has published over thirty-five books, including Giving Up the Ghost (Dell) and A Frightened Ghost. Come hear Helen in two weeks as she discusses how to create captivating heroes (and villains!), plot a mystery, plant clues, and much more!

One last thing: you're always welcome to come on the alternate Thursday nights and listen and ask questions at our sister web site, the Long Ridge Writers Group located at http://www.longridgewritersgroup.com Coincidentally, Taffy Cannon will be discussing adult mysteries next week at that site. And don't forget our Tuesday afternoon Open Forums--check your calendar for times! And now, good night, everyone!

Return to Transcripts

93 Long Ridge Road, West Redding, CT 06896
Phone: (203) 792-8600 (800) 243-9645
Fax: (203) 792-8406
E-Mail: WebEditor@institutechildrenslit.com

Copyright � The Institute, Inc., 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008
No part of the electronic transmission to which this notice is appended may be reproduced or redistributed in any form or manner without the express written permission of The Institute, Inc.